The Sky TV Christmas channel is permanently on, and you have already watched The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause 2, and The Santa Clause 3 – The Escape Clause trilogy, three times over! On repeat!! And it’s still not boring!
We have all written our expectant Christmas lists to the big man in red!! Not just the kids!! (shhhh – I believe!!)
Your husband finds you wandering around the house with a notebook and pen in the desperate hope of finding inspiration for new and innovative hiding places for the flipping Elf on the Shelf this year!
All the local towns have pretty twinkly Christmas lights sparkling all down the high streets, yet the ‘big lights switch on’ isn’t for a few weeks yet! Confused? Yes – me too!!!
Some people have already put their Christmas trees up!! In November!!!!!! I know!!!!
The Christmas shopping has begun in earnest and you already have a stash of Christmas pressies for your little ones hiding in the rather obvious positions at the top of the wardrobes or under the bed!
The diet has well and truly been flung out of the window – well…. What’s the point now eh? Better to start in the new year!?!? Yes??
You have to start panic buying advent calendars, chocolate tree decoratIons (especially the ones with caramel centres) and bags of gold coins NOW as these ALWAYS disappear by the time any normal person gets round to do their shopping *cough* – Christmas Eve – *cough!*
You can’t go out and buy any normal ‘everyday’ clothes anymore, unless your new work dress code is ‘sparkly dresses’ or your new SAHM ‘nappy changing and running around after mucky kids all day’ attire is sequined blazers and diamante heels! Hmmm! Practical!
The kids ask EVERY DAY “is it Christmas yet” and “is Santa coming tonight” Arrghhhhhh!!!! *goes off to pull hair out*
There’s no more frozen stuff in the food aisles other than turkeys, turkeys turkeys!!!!!
The Christmas Jumpers are starting to make a re-appearance, and you’re even considering getting one yourself this year as they seem to be ‘in fashion’ now
You can justifiably start singing and bobbing along to all those fabulous Christmas songs and carols!!
Although you say to others – ‘oh yeah – it all starts far too early nowadays – this whole Christmas thing’ – you secretly CAN’T WAIT to put your tree and decs up yourself!!
You start to argue with your husband about which parent’s turn it is to have you this year on Christmas Day. As obviously the only fair way is to alternate, right??
Literally ALL of the new Christmas adverts on TV have you in floods of tears!! What is it with the ad companies and their love of wanting to make us all cry!!!
You have to get Hubbie to pop up into the loft and find the box entitled ‘last years unwanted Christmas gifts to recycle this year!’
Its time to search desperately for a Christmas carrot outfit for your toddler, as obviously the carrot played such a prominent part in the nativity story of the birth of Jesus!!!!
Each week (because you’re trying to be clever and stock up, but you end up eating everything) when you go to the supermarket – it is perfectly reasonable, acceptable and expected to overload your trolley with nuts, Pringles, twiglets, those little cheesy biscuits in the shape of hearts, diamonds etc, pate and various stinky and creamy cheeses.
And one more for luck – just because it’s nearly Christmas and I’m feeling festive….
You nip into WH Smith’s on a daily basis as you can’t wait for the Radio Times/TV Times to come out – just so you can circle all the Christmas programmes you want to watch, and mark all those to record ‘for keeps’ with a big red ‘R‘!!!