Six months and still going…..

Hurrah – I’ve managed to keep this jumbled little blog of mine going for about six whole months now!!

My little diary….. about my little life.

And all the fun, laughter and tears that go along and make it into my journey!

And I know it’s hardly any compared to the big blogs, but I even have followers! How amazing is that! To think that people read a post and hit like is such an honor!

Each time it happens it lights up my life a little more and puts a smile on my face!

I know I sound daft, but I am just so thrilled with myself for this, because for me it’s such an accomplishment!

And I am just so pleased with myself that I think I might just pat myself on the back!!!

Yep, done!

Now, in the ‘real’ world, 6 months sounds like relatively a long time to me.

I mean, since January this year………,

• I’ve gone from being on maternity leave, through redundancy and temporary work and am now back in permanent, full time employment;
• Little E has changed dramatically and has gone from being a little rug-runner to practically running (especially away from us if we need her for anything!),
• H is scarily becoming more grown up by the minute; turning into a beautiful little girl, full of her own thoughts, opinions and attitude?!
• It’s gone from cold and wet outside to warm and sunny as the seasons have changed;
• And our holiday is growing ever nearer and I’ve still not lost a single lb.!

But in blog terms – to me – I still feel like I’m in my first term of blogging school! And I’m pretty darn sure I’m not in the top half of the class!!

Ordinarily, anything I start seems to last only a few weeks (or in some cases just days) before I get bored or uninterested, or something else seems to take a hold of my life.

But blogging has become something I have really come to enjoy.

I have found it hard though, for a number of reasons, but I’m finding myself struggling on through and trying my hardest to learn as I go, as I really want to persevere with this.

I’ve almost turned into a bit of a bedroom hermit now too.

As soon as the kids go to bed, rather than sit and have a conversation about how our days have been or what the new gossip is with Mr B, I quickly scoff my dinner down, stick the kettle on, make a quick cuppa, and head up to our bedroom in search of some peace and quiet with nothing but me, my iPhone and the iPad! There have also been times when I’ve taken the mac upstairs too!!

(Oooh – maybe this could be my reason or excuse to sweet talk Mr B into our kitchen-diner knock through – as perhaps then I’d be able to sit downstairs (albeit in a separate room) near to him, rather than being antisocial and skulking off to bed at 7:30pm!! )

I’ve never really had a hobby as such so I’m also finding this a real outlet for me. This is my new hobby, my place to go when I need to be alone, my little hideaway, my sanctum. And I know I write about and dearly love my family and friends to bits – it’s a time where I can be alone from them and find some peace and quiet – to keep me sane in order to be a good mummy the rest of the time perhaps!!!

Doesn’t everyone need a little bit of ‘me’ time??

So, although I’ve been ‘blogging’ for six months now ( I almost feel a bit of a fraud for saying that – as if I’m really good at it or something), there is still so much I am yet to learn that I am struggling with.

I’m finding the whole ‘start to finish process’ of writing even one post just so time consuming.

I’m probably doing it all wrong!!

So far there’s ……..

• the whole thinking up something new each time to write about
• actually putting pen to paper (ok – so fingers to iPad) and physically writing it
• taking, adjusting, re-taking and uploading the pictures
• re-reading and adjusting or making amends to text
• finding the time for all of the above
• …..and then you start all over again as soon as you press publish!!

But perhaps this is something that just gets easier with time? Like riding a bike!?… the more you write the more your creative juices flow??

I’m so scared I’ll just run out of steam or that my inspiration for more post subjects will run dry!

And in addition to the actual finding time element as above, there are umpteen other things I feel I must learn but simply can’t get my head around:

• The really confusing copyright laws – I’m so scared that I’m going to write about something where someone else hears about it and thinks I’ve copied theirs
• stock images – I really want to use these as it would be so much easier sometimes to illustrate some text, but I just can’t understand how, what when where who of what to do and where the traps and pitfalls are? Rather daunting
• Linkys and generally being sociable online – I really want to link up with others, as their blog projects look so much fun and  interesting – but as much as I look things up I just get more and more confused.
• All the social media accounts to create and have separate logins and passwords for – again on the ‘being sociable’ theme – I really want to meet and interact with fellow bloggers, learn about their lives and follow them on their journeys too. But as soon as I go to like something or comment – a new window appears acting like some sort of barrier which needs a degree to get past
• Adding watermarks or copywriting your own images – or even knowing if it’s worthwhile at all – ????????????????

(I’m feeling very stupid now by the way and am wondering if I’m actually sharing too much information here – hope it doesn’t put any of you off)

I then get afraid:

• that i’ll have a total lack of brain power and imagination
• and wonder if I actually have an interesting enough life to write about in the first place?

But then I start to imagine the possibilities in reaction to the above:

• It may spur me on to do more with my family
• Perhaps it will make me a more sociable and worldly wise person
• I hope to be able to learn photography as I go – and improve over time
• Fingers crossed I’ll become better at social media and blogging (and all things IT technical!!) and in time I will laugh in the face of the linky and the widget, as I just whoosh on through to post endless comments on blog after blog!!!!

Yes, I’m probably thinking far too much into this, but it’s pushing my emotions, my boundaries and comfort zone for the better – making me more aware of things – the big and the small; the global and the personal; making me want to do more than just sit on the sofa and watch TV, and I like to think making me a better and more interesting person.

In an ideal world I wish it was possible to phone a friend and get them round to help me, but instead I am determined to muddle through!!!!!

So anyway, with all of that listed above, I’m almost shocked that I’m still going at all.

But that must mean something, right?

The fact that I still want to keep it going?

I truly am finding I’m loving it though, and the fact that I’m writing it almost as a reference type journal for my children and I to look back on one day is something which keeps me going. You see, it’s not just a project for me – but one for my girls too – a diary to capture our lives as we all grow up together as a family.

I’m not sure if what I’m writing is stimulating, interesting or even makes much sense to anyone else, but it is to me, and I really feel if I’m determined enough to keep this going, then it can only be positive for my family and I in the long term.

And although I love when people read or comment on my posts, and generally be interested in what I do; as long as it makes me more sociable, active, a better writer, and perhaps even a better parent, I will be a happily contented mummy blogger!

So, I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say I’ve really not learnt much at all about blogging in these last six months – but I’m having fun – and if anyone out there has any hints, tips, how to’s or general advice – I would love, love, love to hear from you!!!